Sunday, August 10, 2008

Bald WAS Beautiful

"Be Your Own Cupcake!" Words I live by and try to spread to others through my art project, the Cupcake Continuum. It's all about celebrating individuality and being proud of who you are; no matter what! Everyone is different and I love that those little idiosyncratic characteristics make the world beautiful and diverse!

One physical characteristic about me that has been a constant for many years now is my bald head. I am comfortable without hair and my scalp has also served as an open canvas for beautiful ink work that two of my good friends started collaborating their tattoo skills upon. I hesitate to think that this ONE aspect of me is what makes me "me," but given an unfavorable reaction to my attempts at altering my baldness, I sometimes wonder if this is a major fixation towards the way that others envision me. As odd as it sounds, GROWING hair has elicited adverse reactions from friends and acquaintances in my online world, as well as my real-life world. Just as most women might receive negative responses if they chopped off their locks, I sort of received those same reactions when I tried to grow mine out. Crazy, I know... but true too.

So I started thinking how funny it was that no
matter who you are, you are always conscious of people's attitudes and dispositions towards you. Both times I have decided that I was tired of the bald look and started growing hair again, I actually ended up shaving any amount of follicle growth I had accomplished because of others' disapproval. As backwards as the whole scenario seems, I recently realized that by doing so, I wasn't really "being my own cupcake" if I was letting others dictate who I was. Not that hair, or lack of hair, really has anything to do with WHO you are inside, or what you offer to others, or who you become... but apperances are sometimes so scrutinized that I believe that I was almost fulfilling the opposite of what my "message" was. If I wanted a little makeover and wanted hair again... then by all means, why didn't I grow it? It's not that difficult and it's even FREE.

So ... long-story-short, this blog is to remind myself that I should look how I want to look. Sure, my bald, tattooed, skull is commonplace to most of those that know me. But I'm still Jinxi whether is shiny and smooth; fuzzy and transitional; or long and lush. And with that said, today is the FIRST day of my conscious "growing my hair out" quest. Love it or not, I'm still the same me ... and just like everyone else, sometimes I need a "change" too. =) Should I decide to finish the tattoo up top at some point, maybe I'll take it all off again? Who knows? After all, it's ONLY hair, right?

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