Someday

Someday they will realize.

Someday they will regret.

The antagonism; the cynicism; the disdain.

Regret not stopping to smell the roses,

while they were in their last scents of innocence;

before the world moves on and the days disappear.

They make her want to run away.

They make her want to start anew.

They break off little pieces of her heart.

There will come a day when reflections are all there are.

When those minutes and moments are gone.

Can't recapture them; can't rewind.

She knows, because she faces her own ghosts and understands what regret means.

Someday they will wish that instead of asserting the struggle,

instead of fighting the wavelengths of understanding;

instead of believing that two entities are so different and diverse;

that it is merely because the two minds are so similar, that the struggle exists at all.

Someday they will realize.

Someday they will regret.

But she still hopes that they will change.

- J-Boo

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The Ol' Swap-A-Roo

On Wednesday afternoon, our "Wife Swap" episode reran on the Lifetime Channel. Every time it airs, it's a bit strange and funny to us. Strange, because it's odd to see yourself on television and it's also so atypical to have people peering into your home life and routines. Truth be told, I did not watch it myself on Wednesday; as I had lugged the TV out of my office, when I made my vow to "turn off," but I know that it ran, as it was scheduled on Lifetime's website and hundreds of friends (and new acquaintances who are now friends after watching the show) emailed and commented me on myspace that evening, letting me know that they had caught the dramatic ride of wackiness.

Whenever we remember back to the twelve days that we lived in a whirlwind-of-a-filming-frenzy, it is a bit surreal to think that we even participated in such a bizarre social experiment. It all started when talent scouts from "Wife Swap" as well as the show "Trading Spouses" (on Fox) found me through myspazzz and inquired about our interest with doing their shows. At first, I said, "No way - I could never handle such an adventure." But they have their ways of reassuring you that it is so much easier and less invasive that you could imagine. They guaranteed that our work schedule could remain near-normal; a promise that did NOT end up being kept and caused extreme distress to our business and to Steve, who was trying to film from 6 am to 11 pm; and THEN catch up on work in the wee hours of the night. But that's a whole different story and I'm not here to complain about the excessive list of issues we had with the show; as I could write volumes-upon-volumes that would become quite dull, I am sure.

A better way to reflect on it, I suppose, is to remember what we gained from the show. Approximately two weeks after the filming wrapped, a producer called from the network to discuss lessons that they hoped were learned from the show, so that when they came back to film the "follow-up" segment that they could focus on these newfound epiphanies. I must admit, some of the questions she asked were INCREDIBLY ridiculous; like, "So now that you were exposed to life with a Christian family, do you go to church? And do you believe in God now?" WOAH ... really? "Ummm, no, we don't," I told her. "Are you living by the "Man Law" now? Have you changed the roles and chores at all in your home?," she asked. "Nope, not a chance." After five or six of these absurd inquiries, she frustratedly asked, "Well, what did you learn then?" I didn't even hesitate. I said, "We learned that we REALLY, REALLY, REALLY appreciate each other and our lives, just the way they are."

And that's the TRUTH!! If you are ever looking for a jolt of awareness - followed by gratefulness - for the people surrounding you, the knowledge you are privy to and the autonomy in your life, try living for two weeks with people that get their direction in life from a literal interpretation of an archaic book; in a house where men are kings and women are slaves; Halloween is considered evil and the kids get to celebrate "God Bless You Day" INSIDE the house instead; children think that they can pray for school grades and that demons will float out of their TV screens if they accidentally turn it to MTV; and where decorating your skin with tattoos or having friends that are gay means that you should, by default, not be allowed to procreate. I know that sounds dramatic and extreme; but it's true and it's just a small sample of the beliefs and ideas that our swap family exposed us to. So given this ... YES, I came home with a renewed appreciation for my husband, children, friends, job, mind, viewpoints, free thoughts ... and so much more! And when the "follow-up" film crew showed up for their supplementary story, we reiterated this gratitude and appreciation as clearly as we knew how to.

Looking back on the whole experience, I am glad that we participated. It brought me in contact with SO MANY incredible people that located me online after watching the episode. As crazy as some people still think we are, there were also many that initially saw our exterior appearance and judged a book by its cover; yet, by the end of the show, realized that just because you look different that you can still have a great family, a great marriage and a successful life. It brought some fun opportunities our way and exposed us to great people all over the world (the show has aired in all corners of the world and I continue to get emails from the most obscure places on a weekly basis). It was challenging and at times, emotionally draining; but when all was said and done, it was an interesting and unique learning experience. Even if what we learned from it was just to APPRECIATE LIFE. Really, what better lesson is there, eh?

Favorite Lines From The Show:

- "Big Momma is F**ing Nuts." - Steve

- "If you don't put on the Devil costume, then we will T.P. the church." - Shea

- "Ooooh, getting a little attitude, huh?" - Brynn

- "Freethinking is good... freethinking is great ...think for yourself ... this ain't no debate." - Brynn, Aidan, Shea together

- "My kids are atheists and they don't pray; and they get great grades." - me

- "The pole was not made for Big Momma." - Big Momma

- "You can't make someone believe in your God. You just can't." - Steve

- "dem da rulz" - Big Momma

**This is one of the commercials that promo'd the show. Please note that it encapsulates such a small portion of what happened on the show ... and more importantly, what REALLY happened during the filming; but even given that advisory ... it's still funny =)

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What October 7th Means To Me

October 7th is a special day to our family. Today is Shea and Aidan's 12th birthday. At the risk of sounding a little old, I really feel the need to reminisce a bit about this day and what it means to me. I remember this day, one dozen years back, so well. After being warned that I would most likely have a complicated pregnancy (as most twin pregnancies are), I breezed through with a seemingly smooth one. That is not to say that many of those nine months were not extremely uncomfortable and sprinkled with a few bumps (in more ways than one - ha) along the way; like an increased amount of Vitamin K - so much so that my levels were off the charts from anything the doctor's office had ever seen - that caused SEVERE itching; as well as suffering through the hottest summer for Southern California in over 20 years - whew! But all-in-all, I was quite healthy and quite excited to "grow" our family significantly with this grand event.

While excitement was in the air, there was also a lot of anxiety about just how we would handle this significant growth spurt; the constant care and attention that not just one new baby required - but two; how our then two-year old daughter would handle the "additions;" not to mention, how we would cope financially. Steve was in his last year of law school at the time and I had stopped working at my bookkeeping job when I hit the last trimester of my pregnancy, so life was definitely already hectic. It's funny though how your brain and your body compensate for fear and anxiety when it comes to making sure that the world is safe and happy for your children. I say that, because looking back, that must have been what got me through those long nights, long days and short hours of sleep. Having the opportunity to raise two more incredible people really puts all of the fears and worries aside, when you just reflect on how lucky you are to be in that position in the first place.

My C-Section was scheduled for 6:00 pm that day. It was discovered that Aidan was breech in the seventh month of pregnancy and given the risk that is associated with trying to turn/move twins and risking their cords being twisted, we had known for some time that a Cesarean birth was the plan. I remember triple-checking my bags and excitedly calling my sister, who was caring for Brynn while we were in the hospital that first night. I remember looking around our house and knowing it would be the last time that only three people lived in it. I remember sitting in the waiting room: anxious, nervous and excited. I remember the anesthesiologist coming in to administer the epidural and then I remember Dr. Lyons talking to Steve. Funny enough, I don't remember much in between until I heard Aidan crying ... and then one minute later, heard Shea do the same. And THEN... I remember that my whole world transformed into a completely new role from what it had been even moments before; adding extra doses of both responsibility and joy to my life. It's a pretty incredible moment to go from being a mom of one to a mom of three in just two minutes; and one that I would not trade or change for one second.

Sometimes days are hectic, stressful and hard. Sometimes, the accountability I feel for keeping up with my many roles can feel overwhelming. But it really is incredible that when the dust settles and the momentary "catastrophes" get resolved, that what it all boils down to is that who I am as a person and all that I contribute to this world throughout my lifetime are SO closely tied to the role of being three people's mom. That doesn't mean that this role is WHAT defines me, but that what I do with the position has EVERYTHING to do with how I measure my success with my life presently, as well as throughout the rest of my years. I think I sometimes forget, in the midst of busy days and endless to-do lists, just how lucky I was twelve years ago, to walk from the maternity ward exit doors out to our silver Honda Accord with two new car seats in Steve's grip and Brynn's hand in mine, and drive home to start living a new life that would never be as challenging, nor as rewarding, as it had been the day before.

Yes, October 7th is a very important day indeed! I just wouldn't be "ME" without it.

**The boys holding their Rise Against tickets, which I believe were their favorites of the presents received**

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My FAVORITE Rex Manning Day

This past Monday was a Rex Manning Day. For years now, I have referred to "tattoo days" as Rex Manning Days (for those who have seen the classic movie, "Empire Records" that will make perfect sense... and for those who haven't, I highly recommend watching it and "saving the Empire" = damn the man!).

This was no ordinary Rex Manning Day though, this was a very special and meaningful RMD. I have hundreds of tattoos, in all sorts of places. Some of them are just fantastic pieces of artwork that I wanted to preserve on my skin, some are silly, and some are sentimental. To date, the three portraits of my kids truly mean the most to me in the "significance category" and this new masterpiece I added on Monday falls right into that genre as well.

For eight hours, I sat and watched Mike DeVries layer abundant amounts of gorgeous, vibrant ink into my calf, shinbone and lower knee; as Ash, an artist from England, here for a seminar with Mike, conversed and learned by our sides. It was a positive, fun, enjoyable day ... but the part that made it the MOST marvelous was what I walked away with; and that would be THIS:

While I am always genuinely astounded at the degree of talent that Mike's work produces, I don't think I am ever quite as impressed as when the reference subject is someone that I know and love. And if there is ANYONE in this world whom I know or love better and more deeply... it is THIS particular person. For nineteen years, I have shared nearly every day with him. For nineteen years, I have made goals, created dreams, raised three children, been through incredible highs and struggled through difficult tribulations, eaten, sleeped, talked, laughed, cried, perservered, loved and lived life with him. Many thought we were too young when we committed to marry each other back in 1991; but we didn't agree. We realized that we had something very rare and unique, and we didn't want to waste one day not sharing it and trusting each other with our journeys and progressions through life. There was no reason to wait and we never looked back ... not for one day.

So this Rex Manning Day had special significance to me. It was a long-awaited moment to add this piece of artwork to my collection. This session wasn't any normal ink episode ... these hours etched a timeless tattoo onto my skin, one that is beautiful and excellent; but more importantly, commemorates the one thing that has been my most everlasting constant throughout my life - my partner, best friend, companion, soulmate. He is "officially" now on my skin - but he has always "officially" been my heart. Read more!

I've Waited Hours For This

Updates, updates!!

So... I made the fabulous vegan chocolate chip cookies again, with the yummy recipe that I got from Dreena Burton. The whole family loves them and there is not a stitch of a chance you would ever know that it is lacking dairy products! Divine, if I do say so myself =)













The election rollercoaster is reeking havoc on what LITTLE patience I have left with the "intelligence level" of this country. HOW is Sarah Palin considered a viable candidate for one split second, for what, some might say, is the 2nd most powerful position in the world? Are you kidding me? Absolutely INCREDIBLE!! If the McCain-Palin joke-of-a-ticket actually succeeds in blindsiding America into a win this November, it will truly be evident that this country is officially void of any capacity for reasoning; and in a nutshell, absolutely has NO SHAME!! The land of instant gratification will have fallen victim to the pretty, shiny, oh-my-god-she-looks-like-a-"normal"-person-and-she's-a-hockey-mom-AND-I-am-totally-going-to-block-out-the-last-eight-years-of-degeneration-because-she-told-a-funny-joke-and-she-wears-cute-glasses. Yep...that country!














Well, I hope this horror does not become reality... and I also hope that THIS ridiculous Proposition (8, that is) does not pass and take away the long-awaited equality of gay couples; which would make that recently-granted freedom way too short-lived, should it pass. This sign is in the yard of one of our idiotic neighbors who thinks he would actually even KNOW if a gay or lesbian couple was married. The truth is, it wouldn't effect him any more than if I bought a new pair of purple socks. He wouldn't know and it wouldn't be of any consequence to his life one way or the other. I really don't understand why people that think they are protecting the "sanctity of marriage" (as if it's SO sacred in America nowadays) spend SO MUCH time pushing their judgmental noses into other people's business; and more specifically, bedrooms. Geesh!!


















My hair is growing-along nicely. It's pretty funky to have it up on top again; but I like it and I'm anxious for it to grow just a bit longer so I can dye it a vibrant shade of pink.













In musical news:











I learned to play this on my bass today and I am quite stoked about it!

The "Head on the Door" has always been my favorite of The Cure's albums and given that, well, how could one not just totally dig "Close to Me."

Over & Out, J-Boo

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I Don't Want To Be Another I-Don't-Care-ican

These really need no explanation because they are pretty much the coolest, most concise form of entertainment that I have seen in a LONG time ... and I couldn't agree more!



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Turning it OFF

"You watch television to turn your brain off and you work on your computer when you want to turn your brain on."
-- Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple Computer and Pixar, in Macworld Magazine, February 2004


I used to never believe people when they said that they didn't watch TV. I guess, because I just couldn't fathom not partaking of its endless array of "entertaining" commotion. Since I work at home, I had just become accustomed to hitting the ON switch in the morning and the OFF switch at night. Even when I wasn't paying attention to what it was broadcasting, I had it on as "background noise" and I even felt lost when that "static-ness" wasn't resounding in the room.

NOW I truly look back in near-horror at the WASTED hours of my life that I sacrificed so willingly to television. WHAT was I doing? And HOW did I think or get ANYTHING done? I am SO annoyed by the brouhaha associated with that chatterbox now that I seriously cannot handle it being on in my office for more than 20 minutes before I just have to get up and flip the switch. Nowadays, while I am working, I SO PREFER: a) playing music and singing along, b) tuning into a great radio program that makes me think and engages me in the topics, or c) just having it quiet. And if I am taking snippets of time away from work, I LOVE reading: either a book or something online.

I almost feel a sense of shame for all the time I wasted and for the submissive nature of my previous relationship with TV. I think that it was such a habit that I didn't realize how destructive it really was. Not only do I now view it as pretty much, a waste of my time, but I also abhor the messages coming through the screen. The "news" media is controlled by such a small group of corporate conglomerates, all deciding exactly what they will ALLOW you to be privy to that day. The "entertainment" channels are completely obsessed with the strangest topics, scandals and relationships. The "reality" shows are so UNREALISTIC and "scripted without being scripted." The game shows are completely ridiculous and unattainable. MTV is currently kissing the asses of the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus (WHAT???!!!!). It is just INCREDIBLE!!

According to the Oxford University Press, the average American will watch 45,000 x 30 second commercials each year. What an astounding number! 45,000 more times to be told that you need to buy the "cool" clothes, the biggest TV, the shiniest SUV, a new medication to help you cope, another credit card, another diet pill (while at the same time, more decadent desserts, saltier snacks and extra-calorically-rich food); and on & on & on with the mindless consumerism.

I am becoming so loathsome towards it all that I can barely make it through my 80 minutes of workout time in the mornings without just riding the stationary bicycle and doing my crunches in silence (I have recently decided that I might need to lug a radio upstairs to keep me company during my exercise hour). This morning, I was TRYING to watch The Today Show, when I nearly threw up at the opportunistic intimacy of Meredith Viera, while interviewing Meghan McCain about her new children's book about her father (gag!).

I think that television is like SO MANY things in America. We are SO CONDITIONED to believe that it's necessary and normal ... and, well, American... that we grow up thinking that way and living that way, and before we know it, we are HOOKED! I kind of liken my "weaning-off" of the big box full of static to the reconditioning it took when I let go of religion; as well as when I stopped eating meat. At first, I didn't think it was possible to live without these constants; but as I realized what TRUTH and CLARITY waited behind the doors without them, it was like a whole new world opened up that I had never let in and NOW didn't want to regress from.

Though I wish I had come to this realization years ago, I know, as with everything in life, that it's NEVER too late to start anew. I am just glad I SWITCHED OFF before another day went by, because the possibilities to explore, the endless array of information to learn, the music to play & to listen to, and the beauty in life, SO DOESN'T come from TV.

If I lived to be 85 years old and cut out JUST 4 hours of TV a day (4 hours, btw, is below the average amount of time the average American watches per day and much less than the number of hours it previously was turned ON in my office in a given day) ... that would give me 87,600 "extra" hours of learning, thinking ... LIVING!

I might be 37, but I'm NOT going to spend any more years, months, days, or minutes of my life ... WASTING life!

~ J-Boo

"American children and adolescents spend 32 to 38 hours per week viewing television, more than any other activity except sleeping. By the age of 70 they will have spent 7 to 10 years of their lives watching TV." -- The Kaiser Family Foundation

Television

By Bad Religion

television, television, television, television

oh yeah! I want to bask in your golden light,
submerge in electric waves,
I need my connection to the world outside

the world outside is buzzing like an angry wasp in summer,
the candidates are running, and soon the son of God is coming,
crackle mental convolutions tune in to the revolution,
whereby everyone's included so we'll never have to be alone

every atom of my body, blood and sinew, bone and fibre,
I can't distil you from my blood,
you're a hungry germ inside of me,
you're my lover, you're my heroine,
my conscience and my voice,
and I know that I have learned to let you in I
will never have to be alone

I'd take after my mother but she's from a different generation,
I prefer my big brother he's so gentle and understanding,
and I learn what I can from him by the television light,
so that when I'm all alone I know everything's gonna be alright

FOO FIGHTERS - TIMES LIKE THESE
Uploaded by huntylch

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